Mini Steiner is Mini
by Charlett
Summary: No Remedies?  Oh the horror!  How ever will Captain Steiner return to his normal height?  How will he fight the Ogres that attack Garnet?  How will he defeat an Oglop in a battle to the death?  Simple.  He won't. [Oneshot]


I was thinking about Mini... and stuff like "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"... and then I thought about this.

Halfway through it I totally forgot what monsters were IN Oeilvert and I put it on hiatus to find out what was in the place... and then that helped me think up what to do in the second half of the story.

I heart Steiner so much...

Hope you guys enjoy this short story!

READ ON!

---

"Mini Steiner is Mini"  
A Final Fantasy IX Fiction by Chrisanthy Kohn

"Something's wrong."

"What are you talking about?"

"………"

"I mean, something's wrong," Freya looked over at Zidane, "Haven't you noticed?"

"Noticed what?" The thief shrugged.

"………"

"What's wrong, Dagger?"

"The exact same thing that's wrong with me," Freya explained as the four stood in Oeilvert, searching for a "Gulug Stone" or whatever Kuja was ranting about at the moment. Princess Garnet shuffled her feet, unable to speak, "Have you checked our item pack?"

"What about it?" Zidane asked. The Burmecian gave him a glare from under her Dragon Knight helmet and tried, once again, to find the item she was looking for. She dug around in the Bag of Holding, her arm disappearing far further than the small bag should have allowed her, and came up empty.

"We're out of remedies." Garnet seemed content to kneel down and converse silently with a shiny pebble on the floor.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Zidane wasn't sure where this was going. Freya stared.

"Steiner has been minied by that enemy we just encountered. We used our last remedy to ensure YOU weren't caught in the same predicament."

"You mean Rusty's around here on the floor somewhere? I was wondering why everything was so quiet. Wait…" He lifted his boot to make sure there wasn't a splotch on the bottom of his foot. Freya sighed.

"He's right there…" She muttered, pointing at the shiny pebble. Zidane dropped down to look at the item Garnet was smiling at, and was surprised to find out that it was indeed a tiny version of his usual rival in Damage-Per-Second, Captain Adelbert Steiner.

"You little monkey!" Steiner shouted, wagging his hand angrily at the thief. He was so small that his voice was barely audible by Zidane even with the captain's usual large, loud mouth. The sound was very high and squeaky; the thief couldn't help but smirk in delight at the strange sound, his tail twitching quickly in amusement, "I demand you set me back to normal! I simply cannot protect the princess in this condition!"

"Hey Rusty, I'm sorry," Zidane said. He stopped and his eyebrow rose when the captain clutched his ears in pain.

"Good gods, you fool!" Steiner roared, "WHISPER when you talk! You nearly blew my eardrums out!"

"(If only I could blow his voice out the same way…)" Zidane muttered under his breath. Garnet looked questioningly at him, as if to ask if he said something, "No, no, Dagger," He winced at Steiner's pained shouts, and lowered his voice, "I didn't say anything."

"Potion!" Steiner shouted, blood trickling down his ears, "Someone get me a potion!" Zidane relayed the message to Freya (who couldn't hear the minied captain) who dug around and brought it out. Fishing around in his back pocket, Zidane found a small cloth of woven wool that he knew would absorb the potion well. After ripping off a piece that he hoped wouldn't bowl the knight over later, he soaked it liberally in the potion and handed it off to Steiner, whispering that "it's the only way to let you drink. You'll have to suck it out of the cloth."

Steiner stared at him as if he had gone mad, and Garnet blinked at her retainer, pleading with him. A sigh escaped his lips that the three couldn't hear, and he muttered profanities under his breath. Zidane tried not to look like he was enjoying this particular sort of torture, watching the knight suck at the potion soaked wool to heal his damaged ears. Steiner eyed the thief warily, and finally finished his drink, looking much more refreshed, "Now then!" He said loudly, "I will have you know that if you don't get a remedy for me this INSTANT I shall personally…"

"We're out, Rusty," Zidane whispered, and Steiner stopped mid-sentence. It couldn't be true…! Could it…? The dimwitted fool must be pulling his tiny leg! He turned to Garnet, pleading with her. She didn't reply, but her sincere, crestfallen face was enough to tell him that Zidane was indeed telling the truth, "There's no way to get you to normal until we can buy some. What's the point in having ten thousand gil when there's no place to buy remedies?"

"This is all YOUR fault, you moronic primate!" The knight shouted, leaping up and down, "You were the one who didn't want to buy any more than we already had! 'Oh, don't listen to RUSTY, everyone! We'll be FINE with twenty remedies! Twenty's a lucky number!' I swear, when I return to normal, I'll wring your…!" Steiner gave a squeak when suddenly he was plucked gracefully from the floor, and he steeled himself as Garnet stood. The force of her standing with him in her palm nearly crushed him with the weight of his armor. She shook her head slowly and smiled at her retainer, as if telling him that he had chastised Zidane enough. Steiner scrambled to keep himself upright and salute Her Majesty.

"Princess!" He said, his feet practically turning to jelly because his stomach was doing summersaults, "I apologize for my actions! Please forgive me."

"We will have…" Freya suddenly remembered to lower her voice, and did so, "We will have to carry him along. He will be trodden underfoot if we do not."

"I can't believe the Captain of the Knights of Pluto must be subjected to be CARRIED by the woman he is supposed to protect…!" Steiner moaned, slouching in sadness at the very thought. He snapped to attention once again as he continued, "Princess, I apologize for this abhorrent setback, please forgive me!" Garnet simply smiled in reply, and that was enough for the knight. She gestured to her thumb, and Steiner went to take it tenderly so he could stay upright as she moved her hands down to her pouch. Popping it open with her free hand, she carefully and simply placed her retainer within, leaving the pouch open so he could peek out and look at his surroundings.

As he looked into the pouch, filled with such minor things as a needle, thread, and handkerchief, he found himself settling down slightly, "I never would have expected so… but this is sort of comfortable…" He murmured to himself, finding the pouch's yellow silk to be soft and easily slept on. The knight soon remembered that while he was allowed a break from fighting, a retainer's duty was never done, "No! The Princess is in danger every second she remains in this dungeon! I mustn't allow myself a break! I must be ever vigilant for any attacks that may come!" He assured himself, poking his head out like a tiny rat, watchful for any back attacks that may occur.

"Rusty, if you don't mind, if you have something to say, attract our attention. We can't understand you from here," Zidane said, his tail twitching in amusement. Steiner turned red with anger. This was probably the worst day he had ever experienced.

---

"Princess! Watch out!" Steiner leapt up and down inside the tiny pouch, attempting (in vain) to alert Garnet when she was in danger of attack. Unfortunately, with all the shouts and roaring, there was absolutely no way the tiny captain could get her attention. The only thing he could find to do was to crawl up and yank on her tight pants one way or the other, hoping that she would get the message and avoid damage. It tended to work… about half of the time… Steiner felt so useless! He should be protecting the princess, and he was just being a liability!

He suddenly gave a gasp when an ogre attacked her from behind. He shoved as hard as he could on the young woman, and she got the message, but a second too late. Steiner turned to watch as the ogre snarled, swiping at the princess with his dagger. However, it didn't strike the woman; it cut apart the strap that held the bag on her shoulder. Steiner's eyes widened and he reached out for something, anything, to keep himself from freefalling two feet (which seemed more like twenty to the knight). His attempts were futile, and all he saw was beautiful yellow silk as he dropped harshly to the floor.

The knight was stunned for a few moments when he slammed to the floor, and he grabbed at his mouth, trying to keep himself from coughing up blood. Suddenly remembering his predicament, he searched for his helmet, shoved it on his head, and rolled out of the bag. Just in time, Garnet stepped on the pouch as she evaded one of the ogres' attacks. Steiner decided that it was now or never. He had to protect Garnet even if he couldn't do much to deal damage! The knight rushed forward and with a shout, he jammed his broadsword into the monster's toe. The ogre screamed and stopped assaulting Garnet, instead looking down at the knight who was brutally stabbing its toe. The ogre flicked the knight away, and Steiner flew across the hallway, slamming into the wall. He slid down the wall and landed on the floor, stars springing from his eyes. Being so tiny was stupidly hard to handle! He wondered how bugs could stand it.

Speaking of bugs, Steiner soon felt something touching him on the shoulder. With a groan, he moved to stand up and turn to the creature that had touched him. He stopped and stared intently at the creature, and the color drained from his face. A huge, ugly, monstrous oglop smelled the knight all over with its antennae.

"O… O…" Steiner took a step back, all thoughts of Garnet, chivalry, and knighthood disappearing like a snowball in hell, "O…! OGLOP!!" The miniature man did an about face and ran. The oglop, interested and excited about a new friend that had such a fun time running around, quickly followed after the knight, buzzing loudly as it flew after him. Steiner continued running, further and further away from the safety of the group with a scream prominent in the air.

---

"Man…" Zidane muttered, rubbing his bleeding arm, "You know, Oeilvert and its magic barrier is the crappiest thing ever. Dagger can't heal me…"

"That's what potions are for…" Freya said, "Dagger, are you alright?"

"………!!" Garnet looked up at the two; she had knelt by her yellow silk bag, and she lifted it up to show to the group, her eyes filling with tears.

"What's wrong, Dagger? Wait…" Zidane gasped in realization, and turned to Freya, "Wasn't Steiner in there? Is he in there now…?"

Garnet shook her head, and wrung her hands in the bag's strap, catching sobs in her throat. Zidane didn't realize that she felt so intent on protecting the knight. Suddenly, realization hit him, "Wait… if Steiner fell to the floor… then…" He lifted his shoe to check for splotches on his foot. Freya sighed, and Garnet sobbed even harder.

"This isn't doing anything to help the knight," The Dragon Knight said, her nose twitching in annoyance and hidden fear for her comrade, "Just be careful where you step."

"Alright, we'll keep an eye out for him. He must be around here somewhere," Zidane nodded at Garnet, "We'll find him, alright, Dagger?" The princess looked at the smiling thief, and tried to nod back. She just didn't look well at all. Zidane felt absolutely terrible. Now that Steiner was gone, he was sure he could get a little closer to the princess without her retainer biting his head off, but Garnet was so distraught, he couldn't get near her. First her mother, her kingdom, and now her personal bodyguard? "(Damn, Dagger's losing everything. We'd better find Rusty, and fast…)"

It was just that it was so hard to move, knowing that you could squash your meat-shield with a misplaced step…

---

As the three searched high and low (mostly low, because they doubted Steiner could go very high in such a short time…), the knight they were searching for huffed and puffed, resting against the wall he had been running along for the past ten minutes. Fatigue was REALLY rearing its ugly head now. He continued to scan the skies for the filthy, horrible monster that had been pursuing him, and a rare smile passed across his face when he saw that it had disappeared. Now he just had to stand up, check his supplies, and return to… "P…Protecting the Princess!" The captain cried when realization hit him. What a horrible thought that he was leaving Garnet all alone without his omnipresent protection! He searched around to see if he could see the group around his location, and a sinking feeling appeared in the pit of his stomach. They weren't anywhere!

However, he DID hear scuffling near him, and the knight's eyes widened when he heard the familiar sound of "Kupo"! Turning towards the sound, Steiner prayed that he could get their attention. However, what he REALLY needed was a remedy… Perhaps the Moogle had one? He stopped when he saw the towering white fur of one Moogle, and next to him was Stiltzkin, a Moogle that Steiner was well acquainted with. He was traveling the world just like the group was, so the captain was sure if he got one of their attention, he could plead his case and get some help. But how was he going to get the Moogles to notice him…?

As the Moogles' booming voices sounded above the knight's head, Steiner found a rather large rock. It was just a pebble, but the captain would have a hard time hefting it up. He was strong, yes, but it would be a challenge to throw it correctly on the right trajectory. With a grunt and a prayer, he sent the rock flying, and it hit the Moogle's shin. Mooel gave a shout that made Steiner grab his ears, and the Moogle looked down at the tiny knight, "What's the big idea, short stuff?"

"Please!" The knight pleaded, "Not so loud! I must speak to you, it's a dire emergency!" Mooel looked at Stiltzkin, laughing about the predicament of the man, and the traveling Moogle looked down at Steiner, eyeing him up and down.

"Why…" The dressed up Moogle said quietly, "If it isn't Captain Steiner. How do you do?"

"Not very well, as you can see…" Steiner said, pleading with the Moogles, "I've lost the Princess and I'm stuck in this tiny form. If there is anything you can do… a Remedy, perhaps? I will pay what I must for it. Please assist me! The Princess' life may be in danger as we speak!"

Stiltzkin looked at Mooel, and he addressed him nicely, "If you would, Mooel… Doesn't Mimoza sell remedies just outside of Oeilvert? I will wait with the Captain until you return."

"He hit my shin…" Mooel muttered. Nevertheless, for the sake of Stiltzkin's friend, the Moogle lifted off and flew away. Steiner saluted the clothed Moogle that stood before him.

"You have my eternal gratitude, Master Stiltzkin," The knight said. Stiltzkin told him not to worry about a thing.

---

The Epitaph creature stared at Freya. She stared back. It moved slightly. The Burmecian flinched only a bit in retaliation. Garnet seemed to have calmed down, and the three were resting for only a moment until they returned to searching for the knight. Zidane was debating the many ways to try and cheer the princess up. It was like trying to write a story and throwing multiple papers into a waste-bin. Finally, he turned to Garnet and smiled, "Hey Dagger, I'm sure he's fine. Rusty's a tough guy. I bet that armor would withstand even us stepping on him."

He winced when he remembered Blank's reprimanding him, _"Zidane, you really need to stop speaking before you say your last sentence. It always gets you into trouble."_ At the moment, it seemed to be true, as Garnet only seemed to look worse, and she continued to wring the bag's strap like it was the last thing on the planet, "I mean…! You know what I mean! Steiner will be fine. I bet when we find him and return him to normal we'll all laugh this whole thing off. Just watch." Garnet looked up at Zidane, and he smiled at her, "Alright? No more tears?"

The princess really didn't look like she wanted to stop crying, but she did know that the thief was trying his hardest to cheer her up. She wanted to make him feel better, and nodded in response, trying to put on a smile that looked like she actually felt better. She gasped silently and turned around, staring at Zidane's tail. It was wrapping strongly around her shoulders, "Uhhh, oops…" The thief said with a smile, "You know, that thing has a mind of its own sometimes. I think it's saying that you can trust me. I'll take care of everything."

The face that Garnet gave Zidane told him that he was being corny. He smiled sheepishly, but was surprised when the young woman slid closer and placed her head on his chest, a smile on her face and her eyes closed in contentment. The Genome smiled and winked at his tail. It was such a chick magnet!

The two were interrupted when Zidane heard a familiar roar. The thief realized something was terribly wrong, and his instincts were right on the money, as soon a man in full plate grasped the back of Zidane's collar, yanking him up and staring him right in the face, "I am Steiner!" He shouted.

"Woah, big guy, what's wrong?" Zidane asked, the tips of his feet barely scraping the floor. It didn't stop him from trying to escape from the angry man's grip, though, "I was just taking care of your princess! You know, Dagger? She was worried sick about you!"

"I am Steiner!" Steiner shouted, dropping the thief to the floor to tend to the princess. Garnet blinked at the knight, and he knelt before her, bowing low to the woman. Zidane scratched his head. Both he and Garnet assumed something was wrong. The thief turned to Freya, who was approaching the group.

"Amazing…" Freya murmured, "Apparently that Epitaph monster had eaten Steiner. The next thing I realized, he appeared from the stone creature. I was able to defeat the monster so he didn't eat anyone else… but…"

"Rusty seems weird…" Zidane muttered, "It's like he's not exactly SURE he's Steiner, and keeps shouting it as if hot blooded yelling makes everything true."

Garnet smiled at Steiner and stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder. The knight followed suit and saluted the woman, "I am Steiner!" He shouted. Garnet giggled at his silly antics.

"Well, perhaps he… hit his head on something," Freya said, "Being that tiny, he must have gotten hurt somehow. Either way, I'm just glad to see Dagger smiling again. Let's just avoid any monsters that insist on Mini-ing us, alright?"

"Freya Crescent, Mistress of the Obvious!" Zidane said with an air of mystery, holding his hands out as if he could just see it on a bill board. The Dragon Knight smacked him with the butt of her lance.

---

Meanwhile, halfway across Oeilvert, Captain Steiner spoke with Stiltzkin as he waited for Mooel to return. He was very glad that he was getting help from the Moogles, but he was getting antsy. The longer he was away from Garnet, the more he felt that she was in danger, "What am I going to do?" Steiner moaned, "If the Princess is hurt because I wasn't there…! I'll never forgive myself!"

"If you worry too much, Captain Steiner," Stiltzkin whispered, "Your blood pressure will increase. You should take it easy just for a moment, Mooel will be back with that Remedy, and you'll be back on your feet."

The knight slumped down against the wall with a sigh, "I… I just…! P… Princess!" The knight groaned as he waited impatiently for the Moogle to return. Speaking of said devil, Mooel suddenly flew into the room, a vial in his hands.

"I got the Remedy." The Moogle said, "It cost me a lot of gil, though." He looked down at Steiner, still hovering above the tiny Human, "So… how do we feed it to him?" The three were faced with yet another stupid dilemma. Steiner would definitely NOT miss this miniature status effect!

"Hmm, let's see…" Steiner snapped his fingers, but screwed up his face in a worse frown than usual as he spoke of the thought, "Z… Zidane soaked a potion in wool last time I needed to drink something. It's degrading… but I'll do whatever is needed to return to normal and protect the Princess."

The Moogles looked down at Steiner, and Stiltzkin pulled a small bit of wool out, ripped a piece off, and soaked it liberally. The knight took it hastily and sucked as hard as he could. The Moogles thought that last sentence sounded gross as hell.

Everyone was interrupted from their thoughts when a twinkle and a flash appeared, and the next thing Steiner knew, he was standing before the two Moogles, towering over them in full plate and packing steel. The captain looked himself over, and leapt in the air with delight, "Thank you!" He said, "How can I ever thank you enough?"

Mooel stared at Steiner with a snort, and held out his fuzzy hand, "I need gil to pay for the Remedy and the Potion I needed for my shin. Hand it over, giant." Steiner sighed and dug around in his coin purse, pulling the 550 gil from the purse and handing it off to Mooel, who took it and went back to speaking to Stiltzkin.

Finally realizing that YES, he was back to normal, Steiner pocketed the rest of the Remedy and charged off with a roar, "Fear not, Princess! I'm coming to protect you!!"

---

Zidane turned and looked at Steiner, "Did you say anything, Rusty?"

"I am Steiner!" Steiner shouted in response.

The thief turned around, rubbing his head, "I could have sworn I heard Steiner yelling something like 'I'm coming!!' from far away or something like that… Now I'm just confused…" Garnet shrugged, and Steiner shouted that he was, indeed, Steiner.

Freya pricked her ears up and her lance was out in a flash, "Everyone, stay on your guard! There's something coming!" The group stared at the corridor that the Dragon Knight was pointing at, and Zidane blinked suspiciously at it when he heard familiar clanking. He turned to Steiner with a glare. It was then that much gasping happened; Steiner rounded the corridor and stared at the group. Freya looked at Steiner, standing in front of the three, and Garnet turned to look at Steiner, who stood right next to her, reminding Zidane that he was Steiner.

"Princess!" Steiner… 1 said, "Thank goodness I've found you! I…" He looked up, and blinked at Steiner… 2… Steiner 1 stared at Steiner 2; it was like a mirror image…! "Who…"

"I am Steiner!" Steiner 2 shouted. Zidane leapt back as the knight in their midst drew his broadsword, took a step forward to protect Garnet, and swung his sword expertly, "Who…"

"Are you!?" They both shouted, pointing at each other.

"W…what…?" Freya turned to Steiner 1, who was drawing his sword as well.

"What is this?" Steiner 1 asked, "I've been gone for a while and you REPLACE me?"

"I am Steiner!" Steiner 2 shouted, "Who are you?"

"Who are you?" Steiner 1 retaliated. He saw Steiner 2 raise his sword. Garnet rushed forward to stop Steiner 2, but he pushed the princess aside. Zidane hissed when he realized what happened. That Epitaph monster had spewed a copy of their knight, and now there was only one thing to do! The thief drew his own weapon, but Steiner 2 immediately put Zidane down, grappling his face with one large hand and slamming it into the floor.

Freya flipped her lance about, and she rushed the enemy who had harmed their leader (Many would normally wonder why she didn't just Jump, but there was a ceiling, and it usually hurt when he hit them on her head). Steiner 2 roared and sliced across the Dragon Knight's chest. Freya dropped to the floor, and her attacker laughed aloud, "I am Steiner!" He shouted. Garnet reached up to hit him but he grasped the rod in his hand, glaring at the princess as if to tell her that this was her last warning. The princess winced as Steiner 2 was suddenly struck with the hilt of Steiner 1's sword. The cloned knight crumpled to the floor.

"Unhand my friends!" Steiner 1 shouted, raising his sword and preparing for battle, "Your fight's with me, you fiend!" The clone looked up with a hiss at the original Steiner, and Garnet took a step back as the two knights raised their swords in a mirrored format.

"I am Steiner!" The clone shouted. The two traded many blows.

"Would you stop that?" The original knight roared, striking the other against the shoulder. The clone gritted his teeth in pain, and the original's heart skipped a beat. It was working much too hard, his pressure was rising… "Die, you monster!"

"Who… Who ARE you?" The clone shouted. Garnet gasped and Zidane dragged himself upwards. The original took a step back. Steiner's heart stopped… "I AM STEINER!"

"Steiner!" Zidane shouted. The original Steiner dropped to the floor with a clatter as the clone held his unbloodied blade in his hands. The thief scrambled to check on the knight, and tore off the man's gauntlet to check for a pulse. There was none. The magic from the clone had burst the knight's heart. He lay still, staring, wide eyed, at the ceiling of Oeilvert.

"There… could only be one…" Freya hissed as she stood. Garnet dropped to her knees, her hands trembling as she covered her mouth, "What did you do to him…?" She demanded of the fake friend.

"I am Steiner!" The clone shouted, raising his sword. He brought it down but Zidane blocked the strike with his own weapon.

"Freya! Take care of Dagger! I'll finish this guy off!" Zidane said. He glared at the living Steiner, "If there can only be one Steiner… then I'm going to make sure YOU don't have the privilege to be 'that' one!"

While the clone was busy with Zidane, Freya leapt neatly into the air, sailing over the two combatants. She dropped down next to the princess and held out her hand, "Dagger, are you alright?" She asked the princess. Garnet tried to keep from crying, and the Dragon Knight helped her up, "Hey, it's okay. We may have run out of Remedies, but we have enough Phoenix Downs. We'll give him a nice recovery." Garnet looked at Freya, and nodded, "Now, if you don't mind, may I assist Zidane?"

Garnet smiled and Freya left the princess, rushing into the fray with the fake Steiner. The princess then stood and snuck away from the battle, rushing to the side of the original, deceased captain. As the two fought against the enemy, the princess fished for a Phoenix Down in their Bag of Holding. Garnet's blood ran cold when she heard the clone roar in pain. It seemed so… so much like the original; she had to keep from sobbing again.

Freya gave one last shout and brutally jabbed her spear in the back of the enemy's head. Finally, the clone dropped to the ground, and Zidane dropped back to pant for air. The three watched as the clone twitched for only a moment, and disappeared; not one drop of blood was left behind.

"That's that, I guess…" Freya groaned, placing her hand on her hip, "Dagger, see if we can revive Steiner now." Garnet nodded and crushed the downy feather over the deceased man, and the others looked over as a pair of wings appeared with the sound of a trumpet's blast, and Steiner immediately sat up with a shout.

"Princess! I didn't hurt you, did I? I mean… I didn't… but that… thing that was me!" Garnet, who had recoiled from the quick movement of the usually slow knight, blinked as Steiner suddenly fell backwards and landed back on the floor, "I'm so tired…"

"Hey…!" Zidane looked over the newly revived Steiner, his tail twitching in delight rather than just amusement, "Rusty, you're alright!"

"No thanks to you…" Steiner groaned, pointing at him with a hand that was surprisingly fleshy, "If it weren't for you, I'd…" He blinked at his hand, and squinted at it as if he were drunk, "Where'd my gauntlet go………?"

Garnet blinked as the knight dropped his arm, closed his eyes, and went to sleep, mostly because after such a long day, he just couldn't keep them open. Freya, Zidane, and Garnet looked over the knight as he snored lightly, and the princess looked up at the other two. Zidane smiled, "Yeah, I think Rusty deserves a nice rest now. But we need to be quick. Who knows what Kuja'll do to our friends if we take too long in here."

"Indeed," Freya said, standing up, "I'll take the first watch." Zidane smirked widely and snuck up next to Garnet. She gave him a look and turned back to tending to the sleeping knight. The thief grumbled lightly and crossed his arms. He bet that the princess was really making out with Steiner.

On second thought, that seemed just too gross to even joke about…

---

"Watch out!" Steiner shouted, alerting the group to a back attack that would have happened if he weren't on watch, "It's another Epitaph!" The stone monster rumbled and twitched.

"I got a Soft!" Zidane said, grabbing at the Bag of Holding. Too late, the monster opened up and everyone gasped as someone crawled out of the enemy. They all blinked and looked down, and the little girl the monster created raised her flute angrily.

"I am Eiko!" The clone shouted, rushing forward and slamming her flute angrily (but ineffectively) against the knight's armored shins. Finding it ineffective, the clone rushed into the middle of the group, and stopped short when she came upon Zidane. The thief blinked and the tiny girl leapt on top of him with a fangirlish squeal, "I am Eiko!" She said with a giggle.

"She's in my HAIR!" Zidane cried, "Get her out!!"

Garnet sighed lightly, and Freya's nose twitched. It was just a normal day in Oeilvert, it seemed…

The End!

---

Or something like that.

The Epitaphs in my game made like, four Eikos, two Freyas (I grumbled every time I had to revive her...) and one Steiner before I got fed up and just used a billion softs on any that appeared.

Did you enjoy the story? Please tell me if you enjoyed it.


End file.
